Hello! So I've been working on a whole mess of essays, which is good. It's good to be actually working instead of, say, clawing my face off. Although I have to tell you, I'm not really seeing the difference between the two activities, right now. Because for some reason, some reason I possessed many months ago, I elected to write about my adolescence, and "torture" does not fully begin to describe the experience of tackling this subject matter.
In order to write about the events surrounding my blossoming into womanhood, I have to try and recall what precisely happened, and that means burrowing around in a subsection of my memory that I locked up a while ago. Not that my adolescence was particularly traumatic, although parts of it come close. It was just awkward. And painful. And I was a half-formed human being, reeling around being spiteful and petty and then retreating to my bedroom to listen to the Smiths and feel sorry for myself. "I was drunk and also an idiot" seems to explain a lot of the insane behavior I exhibited, back then. Actually it pretty much wraps up my life from 14-25, which not coincidentally was the year I stopped drinking. (And then, yes, started again in my thirties, but by then I had morphed into an adult who could walk away after half a glass of wine, an idea that would have been completely foreign to me during the years that one drink turned into twelve turned into waking up and not knowing where I was.)
Many of the events surrounding my pre-teen and teenage years make excellent essay fodder, which is why I'm writing about them, duh, but really it would be better if I could simply lop off that part of my brain and hand it to someone who can sift through the material and get it on paper without needing to call her therapist a few times.
All I can think while I'm writing is, my son is going to have to go through adolescence? With all of our scientific progress, haven't we found some way to help us skip this part of life? Can't I put him into some kind of suspended animation?