It'll all be better soon. Right? Right. Right!
September 14, 2007Why yes, my upper back and shoulders ARE seizing up, thank you for asking! How could you tell? The way I keep leaning my head against one shoulder and then the other, wincing in pain, pawing at my shoulders like that's going to help anything? I guess that's a giveaway! Or was it when I shrieked MY BACK HURTS when my husband asked why I was muttering and gasping as I poured coffee? Husbands! They mean well!
Why do my shoulders hurt, you ask? Could it be because I'm owed almost four thousand dollars from a client who has owed me since March? And with the combination of my whopping dentist bills (thanks, cardboard teeth!) and an unexpected contractor visit, we now have no money? And the first preschool payment is due? And last night my husband informed me that WE CAN'T AFFORD PRESCHOOL just as I was attempting to drop off to sleep? And instead of sleeping I stared at the ceiling, clenching my jaw, plotting ways to make lots of money real fast? COULD THAT BE WHY?
No, I'm sure it's something else.
Hey, here's my Wonderland post for this week. Which I wrote at 1 a.m. last night, shortly before heading down to the basement and climbing on Henry's old rocking horse, whispering there must be more money into its fuzzy ears for a few hours. (It didn't work, by the way. Henry's rocking horse is only concerned with how pretty he is, wouldn't give me even a single tip for OTB. Never take advice from D.H. Lawrence. What's that you say? What's a "cautionary tale"? Can't hear you over the whispering house. And the literary references end...now.)
Next week, Henry's in school all day, every day. (Which we can't afford! Ha ha! Ow!) Although I should be working hard, I will more likely be cavorting about town, skipping and singing and making an ass out of myself. I'll probably see this guy doing the same thing. Only I'll be sober.
Okay, less drunk.
Reader Comments (40)
Instead of cavorting through town a la The Dad, might I suggest getting into your New Jersey setting by finding a mob stooge to go and collect the $4K you're owed? It would be satisfying AND profitable.
Oh, and the Rocking Horse Winner references totally...um...rocked.
In the meantime? Beans and rice make a complete protein for mere pennies. And then you have hooch money left over.
Give me an address and I'll send you a buck. Hell, we all will.
(wait! Did I frighten you? Why are you running away?!)
Hope the rocking horse finally comes through with your four thousand bucks.
I know it's a downer, but once I took a weekend job hostessing at a restaurant to pay off my $10k dental bill (yep, ten grand) I fele a lot better about my situation.
Whenever I discover a new blog I like, I hoover up the archives. If they have a PayPal button, I tally up how many times I laugh out loud, annoying acronym notwithstanding, and toss 'em a buck for each one. You would bankrupt me, but it would be so worth it.
I think my house has been howling, and yes, the only remedy has been for me to lie awake nights thinking of ways to make more money. Good news, though - I came up with some great ideas. Good luck on yours.
By the way, the backache is probably repetitive stress injury from the rocking horse.
and alice, i am still trying to figure out how to pay last year's taxes (the year i got divorced, bought a house and didn't take any withholding for all my freelance) without taking out a home equity loan. sigh.
good luck with the $4000 deadbeats.
I will go click that McDonald's ad now.
In all seriousness, I am appalled that you of all people should find yourself in such a hideous predicament. Who owes you the money? Would I be able to boycott their product(s)?
I'd love to tell you it gets better, but you have to get through middle school, zits, body odor, peer pressure, parent-teacher conferences and pubic hair before it does.
Do you have a good lawyer? Get the money you are owed!
Something really simple for your shoulders/muscles... someone told me to do this two days ago and it's helped my screaming-tense shoulders. I was having so much stress, I'd hunch the damn things up around my ears. My arms were going numb with the pain.
To a hot bath, add 1 cup epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda. Soak as long as you can stand, as hot as you can stand. The combo of the three things will make you feel very loose and noodle-y when you get out. That's it.
Won't solve the money issue, but really will help with the stress-pain.
sigh.
hope you find financial relief soon! isn't that the great wish of us all. hope you get paid (people are such jerks).
2. Tennis ball. This is a fantastic trick for tense shoulders that a physio friend taught me. Stand against the wall with the tennis ball between your shoulderblades and the wall, and wriggle around so that it moves around your upper back and massages you. Instant relief, I promise - and often much giggling.
On Wednesday we roaring our terrible roars and gnashing our terrible teeth, too. Clients owe us thousands of dollars and have since April— actually, one has owed for 2 and a half years, but he's family, and apparently that means we can't call the collections fellow.
Anyway, we've had a miserable summer with money— miserabler than usual— and we are at the very end of our line of credit, credit cards, and are overdrawn about $500, but then! We got cheques for $1100 on both Thursday and Friday! It's not nearly what we're owed, but it's enough to reduce my stress level; I have less heartburn this morning than I've had for months. I hope with all my heart our luck* rubs off on you.
And I hope you can negotiate a massage-for-cookies deal with Henry.
*I can't believe I called it luck. We earned the money, after all.