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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Midwesterners were here!

Melissa and Logan stayed here last night. Supposedly Logan is running in some sort of marathon, but you and I know that was just an excuse. An excuse to sleep on our futon. People will do anything to get on that futon, people.

We were of course thrilled to have them here, which is why I served them undercooked pork. (I was carving up the tenderloin, saw the alarming ruddiness of its insides, and declared, "I'm frightened." Then I made them eat it. They lived.) Henry's enthusiasm manifested itself with several dramatic pratfalls. It's sort of his thing. Only they didn't know that and thought he was just tripping a lot. And that we were neglecting him when he face-planted on the parquet and we didn’t even glance up from our trichinosis.

In return, Logan and Melissa gave us the gift that keeps on giving: the early-80s theme song. Somehow the show "Simon and Simon" entered our conversation, and we looked up the theme song, and our brains were taken over by it. And now we have to share it with you, or we will die. It's like "The Ring," except Gerald McRaney crawls out of your computer in three days.

Reader Comments (36)

Jesus where was I? I've never even heard of that show!!!
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnne Prince
meh, you wouldn't kill them with that. pork these days is supposed to be served slightly pink in the middle.

food safety stuff has improved much, so we no longer need to serve pork-flavoured sawdust, it's a good thing. (channeling Martha...)
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermainja
I was going to say the same thing - they feed pork (er, pigs) differently nowadays so the trichinosis thing is not a risk anymore.

I must've missed the TV of the 80's as I don't remember that show either. I was dating DH in the early part of the 80's and we didn't watch TV, we went out to bars a lot, LOL!
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMauigirl
Oh, Alice. I am the proud owner of the TeeVee Toons CD, which includes 65 television theme songs from the 80's and 90's.

There's nothing like a little "Dallas" and "Hart to Hart" to help you face the day.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterwhoorl
Why -- oh, why -- did we have an LP of TV show theme songs in our home when I was a lad? And why oh why was that one on it? I know too much to click that link.

November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbraine
That sounds like one magical futon you have there.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterwitchypoo
off topic, but i am so happy that you are posting everyday. november is like tv sweeps time in blog land!
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbeth
Don't you have a digital version of that tune? It was like the audio equivalent of an old film strip that wavers and clicks, when all you really want is a DVD.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither
I loved Simon & Simon! "The Boy" and I were talking about it one day and he bust out singing the theme song (accurately)... sigh... Too funny.

Your futon sounds like a wonderful vacation destination.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLori
Damn. You. And YouTube. And my finger, unable to keep from clicking "play". Damn.

And I never even watched that show, which makes my lameness about now being unable to keep that song out of my brain even more obvious.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKaren
And you remain blissfully unaware of the hidden reference in your first sentence, in which you unearth painful memories of that 1976 Michael York flick, "Logan's Run".

Until now, that is.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMarcheline
Uhhh.... first paragraph, that is.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMarcheline
I found your site via Fussy, so kudos to her and to your wonderful writing.

I'm wondering if the universal constant that holds the world together will survive the both of you being in the same vicinity for a week.

I'm nailing down the blog furniture as a precaution.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJoan of Argghh!
Nerd alert: I have a TV theme song section on my ipod. I don't show it to anyone. My favorite: The fall guy. I've said too much.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterEm
I clicked on it because I couldn't remember what the S&S theme song was and my husband in the next room declared "Hey, Simon and Simon!" I was a little scared that he was able to identify it by the first few notes.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle
Why did I click. WHY?
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterozma
I loved it when one of the Simon's married Suzanne and have apparently lived happily ever after. Great post.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercarosgram
This thing is viral. I punched up the volume on my computer and my boyfriend looked over and yelled "Simon and Simon!" Then he added, "What's scary is that I saw all these episodes."
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMoose in the Kitchen
The weird thing about this post - just earlier this week, I was talking with a friend, and he was all like "I've totally got the theme song for Simon & Simon in my head." I remember watching the show in the '80s, but for the life of me, I could not remember how the theme song went. Now, thanks to you, I remember. I don't know whether to be glad to have that problem solved, sad that I know have such a lame song playing in my head, or scared that someone else was thinking about Simon & Simon this week. And for those with digital cable/satellite, I believe the Sleuth network shows reruns (although I could be mistaken).
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKatharama
oh! thank you for that! I'd completely forgotten about the awesome horror that was "Simon & Simon".
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLiz C.
Simon and Simon took place in San Diego, which just so happens to be my hometown. The building facade that they used as their fictional office location is the same building where my mom worked for over a decade. Like having the same anniversary as Mrs. Kennedy, I feel like this makes me important in some way. But really it just means I have a very small life.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterYolanda
I'm really look forward to going "De de de DEEEEE. Do do do DOOOOOOO." for the rest of the month.

To da moon, Alice.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterThursday's Child
"The Fall Guy" has a great theme song, too. My husband and I caught reruns of that show while we were on vacation in Maine two years ago. Lame, yes we are.
November 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commentererin
Oh my gosh. Finslippy and Melissa. IN ONE PLACE. Do all the really cool bloggers know each other and secretly hang out and exchange super cool blog tips?

November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSue
ahhh...the days of cheesy fight scenes, bushy mustaches, and feathered hair...

November 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

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