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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

« More than you wanted to know about the last 48 hours. | Main | This is what I want to never forget. »
Friday
Oct192007

All my dreams have come true!

My son and I are watching Go, Diego, Go! Because it's just too much work to thrust this fireplace poker deep into my ear canal. My arms aren't long enough, damn it.

We saved the baby jaguar! Say it louder! Excellente!

Yesterday my boy had his five-year checkup, at the sinkhole of bacteria-coated furnishings and toys that some call "the doctor's office." Henry made sure to handle each and every board book, some of them downright soggy with god knows what, as I followed him around squirting him with Purell. Then the doctor was ready to manhandle him with his germy paws. And poke him with his virus-laden instruments.

Before we left, Henry crawled across the floor, licking it. I thought that was a bit much.

We call this foreshadowing!

So hi, today we're home with a lovely ailment. By "we" I mean "he" because I'm always here. By "lovely" I mean the hacking-cough, high-fever, aches-throughout-body kind of malaise. Henry is limping and sighing and clutching his stomach ominously. I'm calmly pushing a bucket in his direction, in case things take a turn for the volcanic. Fun times!

Luckily, as I have learned from Hasbro's newest toy for girls, it's everything I could have dreamed. See what I mean in today's Wonderland. We call this advertising!

Reader Comments (31)

Now this is why we don't even have t.v., the mind-numbingness of it all. And the commercials, once they seem 'em, it's all over.

Preschool has started to change things, peer influence is so great. My boy still likes pink but is now learning about Superheros and Ninjas, despite my best efforts.I guess that means he may give up wearing his pink nightie (which he begged me for) pretty soon.
October 20, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterizzy's mama
If I have to watch Diego help Santa at Christmas one more time I'll go nuts. But then again, I once swore that I would never ride on the trains on Sodor either - the most unsafe railway ever made.

One needs to drink alot of wine to make it through all of these kids shows.
October 21, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSteve
I promise that if I ever get to have kids (adopted) I will NEVER introduce them to anything remotely resembeling that scarey little play house. My word. On a great big pile of books. Books in general having more importance to me. Were there ANY Y chromosomes in that thing?I hate to break it to you, but now that he's in school (regularly) he'll get sick more often. Not your fault, it's the other parents who send their sick children to school. I have never been healthier since I no longer come into contact with school-age children.
October 21, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Bird
I was really hoping it wasn't foreshadowing and Henry was pefectly healthy. I should have known better. The doc's office is like a huge petri dish of disease. The poor thing.
October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPretty Lush
Does he watch Dora the Explorer too? I hate Boots the Monkey. What a bossy pest, always telling you what to say. "Say map! Say map!" Makes me want to whack the little purple guy upside the head (the monkey, not my son).
October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChi-An
Um, is it just me? No one else thinks Diego is just a bit hot? Ok, so I think Joe from Blues Clues is a bit hotter, but Steve is even yummier! I know it's wrong, but I have a crush on Diego. :)
October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

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