Home - Top Row


Home - Bottom Row

Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

Home - Middle Row

Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Money. | Main | Let's get physical. »

Driving me nuts.

"Avast ye," Henry shouted at everyone on Halloween replied, and everyone replied, "Sebastian?"

This picture was taken a half hour after Henry refused to go trick-or-treating, screamed at the sight of his pirate costume, refused to wear the eye patch and hat, and threw the handmade sword to the ground and head-butted his mother in the pelvis. And lo, his mother wept actual tears, such was her bitter disappointment. But then he got over it and got dressed, and she didst feel silly about the crying. Yea.

Reader Comments (29)

Went through the same thing with every kid at the age of 2. They eventually come around to the idea of putting on a mask that limits their eyesight and breathing.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersac
Man, I empathize. I have an entry from last year where I wrote about my, ahem, brilliant idea for my oldest. He's 23 and he still hasn't let me forget how awful he thought it was:
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commentertoni
I'm thinking the real tears were more about groin pain, but I'll take your word for it.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMir
How CUTE!!Maggie would have shouted back, "ARRGH ye scurvy dogs"! My nephew loves all things pirate-y, and has convince Maggie that she is a lil pirate.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commentercatizhere
He's so adorable!

And I thought I was the only one with Halloween troubles. Last year my then 2 y.o. begged to wear his Superman costume for days before Halloween. Then when everyone was set to go trick-or-treating he flat out refused to put it on. This year I didn't bother to look at the costumes until Halloween night (yes, I am an idiot!), and both costumes were missing something! I had no pants for my 3 y.o.'s magician outfit and no hood for my 16 m.o.'s spider costume. You'd think I'd have learned by now, huh?
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterKristen
Aye aye, Captain! Isn't Halloween just buckets of fun? After the battle (IN THE STORE) of choosing a suitable costume, the process of wrestling them INTO the blasted things and enduring the impossible journey (traipsing over acres upon acres of neighborhood whilst dodging potholes and piles of doggie poop), it's a wonder we even do it. Need I even mention the number of times we either have to carry them or take them somewhere to pee?! Arrrrrg! I still haven't recovered. I need a nap.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterPlanet Mom
Captain Feathersword me heartie!
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersuburban misfit
Where do I sign up to be a hot mama like you?

Oh, your kid is cute too...
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEm
My little one was a pirate for Halloween last year. He was 3. We watched LOTS of Pirate Steve to help him get in the mood. I hate Pirate Steve, but it's a personal problem we're working on.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterga girl
i'm so jealous. i tried (without *appearing* like i was trying, such are my powers of stealth) to get mina interested in a pirate costume, but she was having none of it. instead we got the hello kitty witch. such a let down. sigh.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersweetney
Oh, that's nothing. I got a nasty bite off of Middle Child (who is sixteen months old) trying to get just ONE picture of him with a bandanna tied around his face under the eyes (he was Billy the Kid, with a cowboy hat, denim jacket, etc.), and my oldest almost killed himself walking around with a Spiderman hood on that he couldn't see out of (they make them for kids know...normal-sized heads LOL). At least the baby is too little to even think of dressing up.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMFA Mama
In regards to Planet Mom and the "...taking them somewhere to pee...": My husband took my boys out while I passed out candy at home, and at one house instead of "Trick-or-Treat" my 3 y.o. looked at the man and said, "Can I use your potty?"

I really don't think that's what the man had in mind when he opened the door...
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterKristen
When my oldest was 3 her babysitter spent untold hours making a costume for her own daughter - an ear of corn, with lovingly sewn individual kernels. She must have worked on that costume for months. Her daughter took one look at it and would have absolutely nothing to do with it! Mine was not put off so she got the great costume. While I've sewn some fancy kid costumes in my day that one was totally over the top.

Henry makes an adorable pirate!
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterleslie
You should embroider "He headbutted me in the groin" and wear it as a sash at his wedding.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterDawn
I'm glad it wasn't raining on your Halloween. Our Halloween was wet and mucky, so you couldn't even see any of the kids' costumes because of all the rain gear. We still hit up the neighborhood pretty good though.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEulallia
But did you do the seventh avenue parade and get candy from all the store owners?

My oldest used to get scared by some of the adult costumes, and the drumming used to freak me out.

When it comes to costumes it really helps if you just give up. Let them wear anything, anywhere, anyhow, it's all about the candy anyways.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterclickmom
Eh... he wasn't being difficult, he was just IN CHARACTER. Pirates aren't supposed to make things difficult for their captives!
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterdiaperdame
Oh, my. How beautiful you both are.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterjackie joy
Hey! I love Pirate Steve!

What a cutie. I wish I had an exciting Halloween tale but I am childless. Although I did get some candy from the strange person with a mask in my apartment lobby.

Hmm. That might explain why I had the hallucination later that night.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterDM
Funny, you look nothing like the pirate wenches in the movies.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterbuffi
I agree, a lusty wench costume was in order. Probably then at least the weeping would look more natural.

My 3-year-old was totally psyched about the whole trick-or-treating thing--I blogged the experience with way too many pictures the other day (When A Princess Becomes A Pooh)--until it was actually time to go, at which point she stripped her lovingly grandmother-made princess ensemble off and insisted on going door-to-door nekkid, a travesty which was narrowly averted with the aid of her cousin's borrowed Winnie the Pooh costume.

Yes, Halloween. Lovin' it.
November 3, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterBelinda
I am disappointed! I had hoped you would have dressed as the pirate's wench or at a minimum, his parrot! After all, a good mother always provides her child with appropriate material for all his future therapy sessons.

November 4, 2005 | Unregistered Commentercagey
Very cute, even after a little tears :)
November 4, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterCandice
He is just so, so adorable. So .. did he get physical with the sword?
November 4, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJenny
You both look great! This was the first year we weren't peeling someone off the sidewalk, limp and wailing in a sugar-induced frenzy.
November 4, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>